Dreams

DREAMS are what life is made of.
 Just as a spark sets off a blazing fire, a dream is what one has to work on to start the process towards achieving the goal.

LIFE OF THE DREAMER

The third daughter born into a Brahmin family of  five children, her father struggled on a meager salary to house and feed them.Weak, malnourished and weary, her mother had tried every old wives' trick to rid herself of the unwanted child. That she was born female was the straw that broke the familys' back.
They just could not afford another mouth to feed, as her mother could barely manage the household and the four older children.

She hid the tiny bundle in the pile of hay, and made her way back to the village pond to clean herself as she could not do what she had decided. She just could not smother the tiny life.

The butchers wife, Kalifa was there oiling her long hair.
They usually met there and exchanged a few words. Sorrow writ large on her face and soiled clothes alerted the mother in Kalifa who helped bathe and clean her. Sobbing her guilt at her decision she confided her woes to the tender soul.The thoughtful look in Kalifas weary eyes soon sent a shaft of hope as she sat forlornly beside the older woman, weeping silently.

"Will you give me the baby to care for as mine",she gently asked the grieving mother.
The butcher has been away for almost eight months and is due home now, he will accept the child as his own, if I say so.
She reasoned  with herself even as they went to the hayloft to check on the hidden bundle.
  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------          Twenty one years later---
 Kayla stomped her foot and shook the icy wisps off her hair.The weather was really bad ,she so much wanted to reach the safety of her dorm but the campus bus would be a good half an hour coming.Wiping her nose,sniffling and feeling sorry for herself she almost shrieked when the smooth BMW stopped just a feet away.The hooded driver motioned her inside, questioning where she wanted to go.Too weary to heed the caution she always followed, she gingerly sat trying to not wet the seat cushions.

They were both  buttoned up and the ride was short.
He drove off even before she could thank him.

Two weeks later she sat looking at her options for the Masters program.
Her mentor listened as she explained her interest in the computer chip and hardware program she was interested in. Her skills in C+ and computer languages could earn her a TA position, she also wished to teach at the Laboratory, so her tuition fees could  waived off? This would ease her financial burden, she looked up fearfully.

Her pinched face was tense as she looked alert and hopeful.
Discussing electives, core subjects, transportation and scheduling they chalked out her study for the semester.
The play of relief on her expressive face was palpable when he sanctioned her a fee waiver and TA.

You can also stay in the dorm as one student had to rescind, the room is vacant for immediate occupation, so no more waiting for transportation from downtown, he casually added.

  All right! he is my knight in shinning armor, she blinked furiously, not wanting him to see her cry.

She lived up to every metric just as he had known she would.

Two years later she graduated with high honors and had a lucrative job offer with a multinational Company.

Quiet, mature, gentle, helpful  but sharp as a tack she was everything a man could ask for in a companion for Life.

He was a Hindu and she was a Muslim.

They would Never be able to live as Man and Wife.
Or could they?

He  decided to broach the subject when she came to say her farewell, as he knew she would.
He was only five years her senior.

They met at the coffee shop where he had first seen her.
He asked her about herself and her family.
She seemed hesitant at first but soon opened up. Her father was a butcher who slaughtered animals for their meat.The dignity and respect she held for her parents awed him.
He proposed to her on bent knees.
She promised to ask her parents for permission as did he, but she timidly asked him to let her go first.

Of course she confided in her mother at once.
Her mother was the kindest soul she knew and always stood by her every time.
Her parents were unanimous in their answer ,but could they both first visit India to hear their response?
Confused and bewildered, she informed him of their reaction.

They flew home and went to her house.
The festive adornment, chatter, gaily decorated festoons bode well.
Her mother hugged her, and led her inside where she met her neighbor, the Brahmins wife.
Pretty, mature,dainty and now educated ,with good earning potential,Kalifas daughter was still charming and polite.

Touching their feet she sat quietly as she replied to all the questions.

He was a Brahmin from a cultured Hindu Family.

No.his family did not know about her, as he wanted their permission first.
Yes, she would be proud to be his wife.
No, she would not go against their wishes.
Yes ,of course she was prepared to hear whatever they wanted to tell her. They called him in too.The two sets of elders sat watching the youngsters.
Her mother,Kalifa narrated the happenings simply and lucidly.
She was a Brahmin girl born to a family culturally rich but financially poor hence brought up by the middle income loving Muslim butcher family.

They both listened attentively and their reaction was simple.
A single meeting of their eyes, they bowed their heads and asked for blessings from both sets of parents.
Of course he would convince his family.
She would keep her name, she would be the daughter of the Muslim Family, they would have a court wedding attended by only people who mattered.

The whole village cheered and rejoiced .
Love and dignity lead the way.

======================================================================

DIFFERENT STROKES

She looked out for the umpteenth time,her fingers swiftly knitting the white wool,a tear slipped out and gently glided down her soft cheeks. Hearing the quiet sound of the bike,she held her breath as the door opened noiselessly.
   He let himself in and collapsed on his grandfathers rocking chair,exhausted beyond belief.She gently ran her fingers through his hair,massaged his temples,wiped his face with a moist soft linen pad.the gentle glow of candle light and lilting Sufi music was balm to his troubled soul.
She can read me like a book,he acknowledged,drifting into soothing slumber.lightly draping the cotton sheet around him she turned in for the night.

 The loud sound of the door banging woke him from his stupor.

'.Wake up, Oh! you are still wearing your hospital clothes,get up and shower,I have to get to the boutique for a session' the loud nasal tone droned on..he felt as if they were blows on his head.
Shaking off sleep,he looked up at the heavily made up face ,his eyes hurting. The vision  of colors,strong perfume,clicking high heels,powdered face,eyes darkened,lips reddened and glossed over..

Dragging himself he showered and dressed,soon he was driving her around to shop for the wedding ring.Listening to her nonstop chatter he felt numb.A feeling of helplessness and devastation overcame his already hurting soul.She went on about the guests,the menu,gifts,photos,video,

rituals,pickups,fittings.he tuned out.

  Waiting while she tried on the sequined flimsy clothes he decided to take matters in his hands.

'Can we have coffee before you finalize,he uttered the first words of the day.'

She nodded and they went to Starbucks ,the elevator seemed strangely silent.
What is the matter,he is not the least bit excited or enthused she realized.Dropping her forced bravado she rehearsed her words.Could she do it,the wrath of her family seemed imminent.How would he react?

He looked at her crestfallen face and berated himself.They had been betrothed at birth when her business minded father had promised her to his keen competitor to survive the fierce competition in the ready made garment export house.
His father who was more into automobile accessories had agreed to accept her as bride for his oldest son ,in exchange for forsaking competition in the business.
The arrangement was agreed upon and deal done.

Now 18 years later she wondered what was going on in his mind.He was a heart surgeon who had no time for her flighty lifestyle.She loved dance,drama,theater and parties.He preferred home food,soulful music,long drives and a peaceful quiet life.
              
They both started speaking and stopped.
The atmosphere lightened as she giggled nervously.
He held out his hand and offered her a Rakhi ,indicating she should tie it on his wrist.

  Oh ! What blessed relief,she caught on at once.Beaming she gently tied it and looked up at her brother.Their relationship had changed immediately.
Soon she confided her feelings for her senior who was leaving for higher studies.He asked her to call him over.Being an only child of orphaned parents,he had uninterested foster parents who did not care what he was doing.They talked for a long time and decided to appraise their family of the latest development as the wedding had to be called off.

Wait a minute,he reasoned,why call of the wedding ,why not have a joint wedding.The guests would be coming anyway and knew the family.

Telling her to go home and wait for a day he headed off to the Hospital.Calling home he heard her endearing hello.Dress well and be ready ,I will pick you up in an hour he said.He  called both sets of parents who came as they were in town running around arranging various tasks.

Seeing the housemaids daughter all dressed up standing by his side they were worried.
In clear,concise words he explained that the promise made 18 years ago was without their consent.

They were adults and had decided to take charge of their life.
 He described the Engineering graduate who was going abroad for higher studies and who loved their daughter unconditionally.
He held hands with his sweetheart of 5 years,their resident housemaids daughter who had just graduated with her Degree in Education.

They would be married on the fixed date only not to each other..

The families agreed heaved a sigh of relief.
The double weddings were simple and understated, yet heart felt,the guests enjoyed the beachfront midnight ceremonies and danced well into the night.

Communication and clear confident decision,won the day.

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

"With tangled roots hanging down from your branches,
O ancient banyan tree.
You stand still day and night, like an ascetic at his penances
Do you ever remember the child whose fancy played with your shadows ?"

---Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore

My memories are vivid.
Deeply insecure, I had crooked teeth, dark complexion and bad straggly hair, no wonder they did not want me.
The elderly aunt who had agreed to let me stay with her while my parents travel to the US, was unsympathetic. Her no nonsense attitude made me focus all my anger and sorrow at her.
She had just retired after four decades of Government service. The photo on the mantle showed old fashioned clothes, grey hair tied back in a severe bun, a prime candidate on whom I could vent my frustrations, totally ignoring the fact that she had offered to care for a 13 year old with a bad attitude and an inferiority complex.
  
She did not even come to the airport to pick me up.
Well,why should she care anyway?
I hugged my backpack and tried to look nonchalant even as my internal thoughts were in turmoil.

No one cared for me,  I am a burden and unwanted,my own parents did not want me on their foreign trip.Tears welled up as I wiped them away angrily. I will show them I do not care-so there.
 The house was stately and grand,the long road winding up, leading to the stunning porch filled with lovely flowers of all colors.
A dainty doggie trotted out to greet me.
Soft music played, cool breeze wafted the fragrance of the magnolias, my heart stopped its crazy beats.
 This must be Dante,moms' darling dog who they had to send away when dad could not stand him as he was allergic, she remembered.
Funny how she had chosen to forget things when they did not go her way.
Dante remembered her, jumping all over, licking and yipping, excited barks, she felt her leaden heart begin to soften.

Smiling and serene, the slim neatly styled, jeans clad lady was not at all who I expected. Dante jumped into my arms and licked my face and neck, excited.
Smiling, she invited me into the cool confines of the beautifully decorated house.

Bathed, well fed, I nodded off, something that had eluded me for a few months.

    Dante woke me early, we went out in the woods behind the house. I saw a little stream bubbling by, the wild flowers swayed with the gentle breeze ,their iridescent colors reflecting the early morning dew and sunlight.
My mood lifted and the first signs of excitement made me hungry for more.After a delicious breakfast with Suryatai (the femme fatal of my nightmares who I had misjudged so much), we went grocery shopping to the local farmers market.

The dainty little goat who trotted out to meet Dante, led me to meet Saki,a handicapped little girl just a year younger, we soon became fast friends.
She, who had lived here since birth, knew everything there was to know about everyone in the little town.We talked about so many things that I lost track of time.
The day progressed as Saki came home and spent the day with me.
This was the set pattern for the days to come,we each helped the other. She explained the flowers, herbs, birds, their songs, planting,  garden and soil secrets which fascinated me so much.
I helped her with Math ,Science, language, diction and reading. She loved my books and soon the days flew by.

Saki's mother who worked in a beauty parlor was a good friend of Suryatai. She offered to trim my hair.
Soon I had a shining bob that suited my heart shaped face, my teeth were set right by Sakis' father  Sudhama,who was an orthodontist.The fresh air helped and good food, pure water and open air living gave me a healthy complexion.
I no longer feared to see myself in the mirror as my body filled out and I looked strong and healthy.

Clothes in dark colors, made to fit me were comfortable.
 I soon ditched the shorts and tops and wore pretty skirts that swirled and swayed in rainbow colors.
 Running barefoot up and down  the fields, swimming in the little stream, learning something new every day and most of all being appreciated by Saki who I explained and coaxed to learn her school lessons helped me shed my fears
 All too soon it was time for me to return home. Just a week, oh how three months had flown by.

My parents were back and sounded cheerful. Celebrating my birthday made memorable by the small crowd of friends and family here, appreciating all that the summer spent here had meant for me, I tiptoed into Tais room.
 She smiled as I hugged her and laid my head on her shoulders, gently caressed my glossy hair that had now grown out.
Be happy little one, she held my hand and softly told me why I had been sent to her by my parents.
They loved me and wanted me to be safe and secure while papa had his surgery for a tumor that was growing in his intestine.The operation had been a success and he was now recovering.

   Oh ! how I had misjudged everyone.They all loved me so much and cared enough to want me safe and happy. This was the happiest summer of my life, I felt carefree, confident and in control of myself.

With tangled roots hanging down from your branches,
O ancient banyan tree.
You stand still day and night, like an ascetic at his penances
Do you ever remember the child whose fancy played with your shadows ?
 
Remembering the poem by R Tagore,
I made my way to Saki's house ,we talked and talked way into the night.

The Pearl in the Sky

THE PEARL

Mother Nature
The fragrance and gentility, subtle hues, delicate velvety touch and feel conveys bliss, intoxication, sensual delight and ignites a dormant soul to start living again..

 Sheer dint of labor, solid hands on work, ethics and moral standing, 17 years of day night study and implementation-he finally could raise his head up to look over the vast congregation that had gathered for the Graduation Day.
The short synopsis that explained his research for over a decade was well received, he was conferred the doctorate degree, light refreshments were served  and the crowd dispersed.

Tears welled up as a feeling of anti-climax hit hard, he had been longing for this moment since childhood. Born as the seventh offspring to a farmhand,undernourished and malformed, left for dead in a hot blistering field, what were the odds?

Reminiscing, he dashed off the moisture from his face.
The phone shrilled, the tone alerted him, he waited till his heartbeats calmed down to a definite rhythm. He owed her an explanation-redialing the caller he felt a surge of pride and anticipation. It was Teachers Day and he acknowledged the depth of feeling he owed---

   The bundle in a filthy rag was barely visible, saved only by the big stone that tripped the bicycle.
The young man looked down and was aghast. Tiny hands moved and feet peeked out as he lifted the infant, his mind in a turmoil. Could they do it, was this an answer to his prayer?
Holding the precious find he pedaled to the river side where she had gone for her morning bath.

  The river Ganges would be a perfect place to cleanse and a place of re-birth,he reasoned and waited till she came with the soaked clothes, hair wet and chanting mantras.

A look of astonishment on seeing the tiny day old bundle, she looked up at him wonderingly.
He nodded ,they held hands and accepted the gift,,who were they to question the Almighty.
Bathed, clothed, fed with cows milk which the infant lapped up hungrily, they prayed acceptance. Trusting in His wisdom they decided to return to the city that beckoned, the financial capital, Mumbai.

        They soon got the papers all ready, a birth at home was the accepted norm and premature babies were common. Akash (the sky) was his chosen name, so Akash Vidhwan Gupta, yes they had high hopes and wished he would conquer the world, after all he was their miracle.
The childless couple who had refused to accept facts but trusted in folklore  and divine intervention went back to life in Mumbai where his father worked in a Bank and mother was a teacher.
The infant grew surrounded with love and belonging.

All too soon their idyllic life  had shattered when his father collapsed as his frail heart gave up. The little boy all of four stood stoically holding his mothers hand and wiping her tears.

  'Hello ,hello.' the gentle voice  now alerted him.

His heart almost bursting with joy, he poured out all the days happenings.

She listened patiently and whispered that she always knew he was their brave heart.
Father would rejoice as the day was also his anniversary and Teachers Day, he was the first teacher who taught him to walk and talk, gave him a name -Vidhwan and now he had the fame , which would one day be as high as the sky - Akash , she reminded him ever so softly.
 
 Opening the acceptance letter from Stanford University where he was scheduled to teach from the coming Summer, he smiled winningly.
Suddenly he realized what was missing in his life.
He decided to return home and bring his mother back with him to the States, where he would begin a new chapter in his Life.

"Believe in Miracles and never give up, we-each one of us is capable of achieving the loftiest dreams..Never let any one tell you otherwise.

"They may not have the drive and dedication you have"

The blue of the sky

The Cosmic Universe-the blue of the Sky

Bated breath, eyes wide open watching the frolicking of semi-clad humans of both sexes in the huge built in sunk pool, the truth set in.
This was a whole new world and how was one to fit in?

Coming from a world where even talking to the opposite sex was considered taboo, now this open display of body parts, scanty clothing and intimacy made the senses reel. A perpetual state of heightened sensuality, the throbbing of dormant parts, vibrations that refused to be quelled even with cold showers, jogging, cycling, intense physical bouts of tennis, the question intensified.
 

The curriculum for the semester inked out, adding extra credits to keep free time to a minimum, he hoped and prayed he could swim with the tide in the pool he had jumped in. No way was he prepared for this social setup, his tall ,gentle and handsome looks set him apart from the crowd. Soft spoken but very knowledgeable he was always ready to help others without asking for monetary help.

Many went to his dorm and always walked away with a satisfied feeling. His mentor observed the youth as he went from awe to acceptance, to experience, to confidence but his humility and gentle reach out to underlings never wavered. Money was never a problem as grateful students soon figured out what he wanted ,left food, mittens, socks, books ,notepads and anything they figured he could use.
Even the skeptics and bullies who taunted him and used intense peer pressure to hound him, gave up as he seemed not to care. Just set to right the defaced car wind shield, slashed tires, torn work sheets, anything that tripped him up..never even attempted to find out who was doing this, so they soon tired of it.

    His intellect and focus, attention to detail meant he could absorb at the first read, leaving him so much time to do research. Just how does he manage to keep himself sexually satisfied, was the topic of discussion. He kept pretty much to him self, mostly reading and researching, experimenting in the laboratories, humming to himself.
His thought process was simple. Rewind homeward.    

  The land and property that belonged to his ancestors had been pledged to the bank to raise the loan required to finance his studies abroad. Conjuring up the rustic village scene back home calmed him down and he was determined to live up to their hopes and ambitions on his behalf. His older brother had accepted the yoke of burden from his father and they toiled from dawn to dusk to get the yield from the paddy and coconut plantations.
 His two younger sisters helped mother milk the cows, make home made food which they sold to earn enough to feed the family and the cattle and poultry, even the house fires were kept burning using the income they eked out doing anything the society demanded-sewing, babysitting kids, teaching them up to high school. Parents insistence that they all get a basic graduation degree meant his sisters had yet to be married off, getting a spouse was tough going as the family was struggling due to the drought that had hit them for the last two years.

   The consensus of the family was unanimous, they each pledged to share the extra work, his new clothes, shoes, suit cases, air fare, initial fee payment came from the savings for the marriage of the girls who cheerfully decided to wait.
His face lit up as he saw the family online. happy to inform them that he had been accepted for Graduate Assistance, and under grad tutoring,so he would not have to pay any tuition fees.
His dorm was paid for and his mentoring pay meant he could save a tidy amount to pay back the bank loan availed at a high rate of interest.

The relief was palpable, the family cheered his achievement.
Then he got the news from back home, his sister shyly informing him that she had met a decent suitor who was gainfully employed and had asked her parents for her hand in marriage, they could now proceed forward.
Sheelu, his favorite younger sibling had topped the University and accepted the teaching position offered in Campus.The yield this year was a record output their loans would be paid off.
His brother who also participated in the temple rituals and music festivals had met his soul mate who was a classical music and dance teacher at the school  nearby. 
She was soft spoken and his sisters best friend.
Mother came in last and her smile melted his heart, she proudly told him about the latest addition to the family, their beloved cow Laxmi had birthed a little calf whose leaps and antics kept them in a state of merriment.

   The drooping look soon vanished, the state of joy had him smiling cheerfully, the blue of the sky beckoned,the colors of the rainbow dazzled.
 He sailed on to his tutorial where the class enjoyed a beneficial session of bombarding atoms and molecules in our Cosmic Universe.

Nandhini--The perfect garland of life

"Thoughts and memories kept her alive
She would bear the pain ,she had to believe in him..

Come on brat..he held out his hand
You can do it-I know you can.."

She did and the summer was magical.She had just turned eighteen and he was twenty four,a doctor who was doing his intern stint in a rural area as part of the course to get a degree in the area of his specialization,orthopedics.

At last fate seemed to be smiling upon her.Born with a hunched back,she had always been at the receiving end of cruel jokes,taunts,old wives' tales,the scary bogey person to the children who were disciplined revoking her as the ultimate threat.

A life of unending physical pain,she had accepted it as her fate.

Fate that her birth mother ( a child herself) hoped would provide her a fighting chance-thereby abandoning her premature female child at the hospital steps.
The  maid Radha, who came early morning to clean, picked up what she thought was a food basket,only to see a puckered face almost blue from hunger ,barely alive.Thinking on her feet,she requested the matron on duty to save the child.Sister Alicia,a dedicated Catholic nun who volunteered as a nurse was moved and set about doing all she could.Fortunately the incubator was available and so was the oxygen tank.
The damage was done though,her spine was bent and the hump on her back was obvious.

No one will want this waif,her back will not straighten up,reasoned the maid who decided to care for her on her own.Her meager earnings would be just enough and she would have a purpose in life.Curious to know about the new arrival,most were satisfied with her explanation that she was her grand daughter ,left behind by her daughter who lived in the city.Getting legal papers was a trade off,a whole days' work at the beck and call during the wedding reception at the lawyers house in exchange for custody papers of the malformed little infant.

This is no weeping willow,she realized,as the child soon grew strong and healthy,quickly  learning  to walk and talk.
Fed on fresh milk from Sita, the cow, the only asset Radha owned,Nandhini ,the little waif  soon blossomed.
Radha milked her cow and sold it fresh to her customers as little Nandhini at ten months would run around the stall.She trailed the old lady,plucking flowers,waded into the water to collect the lotus buds,walked the forest paths collecting marikolunthu,kanagambarams,jasmines,mallige,chrysamthemums so they could sell the flowers as garlands at the local temple precincts.Soon she was accepted everywhere,given leftovers,temple offerings,hand me down clothes.Little Nandhini was the poochandi,feared by children.She was the Dhrishti absorber,every birthday,anniversary,festival meant she was given money even as they transferred all negative vibes to her and left feeling cleansed and content.

Nandini grew up bright ,observant,playful,cheeky,fearless.Her back jutted up as the left shoulder projected sharply behind giving her a hunched look.She spent most of her time trotting along with Radha ,who besides selling milk early morning,swept the hospital and temple premises and did odd jobs.She stayed within the hospital as a caretaker and helped patients and the relatives who came with them.Evenings saw her selling flowers they collected from the village outskirts and riverbanks.The deftly woven garlands fetched a decent amount that kept the house fires burning.

When Nandhini turned five the temple priest suggested that she attend the village school as she was quiet,shy,but quick to learn.She already could deftly string flowers beautifully,knew colors,fragrance,names ,when and what to use for each occasion.She was street smart,came and went soundlessly,a tiny shadow copying the survival skills of her adopted mother.When
Vadhiyar mami(the temple priests wife) enrolled her at school along with her own daughter,Meera so the two could attend school together,Nandini was thrilled.Curious and inquisitive,she was a fast learner.Life took new meaning....
It was as if the heavens opened up.By no means easy but she soon learned to swallow the taunts,snide remarks,obscene gestures and curses of fellow students and society,using each such barb as a mechanism to steel herself to achieve more.

Soon she was far ahead of the class and helped Meera to cope.Meera was a beautiful child with fair lovely looks,long lustrous hair and a dimpled smile but slow to understand.The irony was that Radha looked like a simpleton yet had a brilliant mind,Meera looked intelligent and sophisticated but was a poor study.Such was the irony of Fate.

The Village school only catered up to  fourth grade,High school was in town,almost two hundred miles away.The decision by Meeras' parents to send both girls to school there meant boarding and lodging as also fees and other costs. The Vadyhar couple knew that due to limitations, their only daughter,Meera needed Nandhini  to help her out as much as Nandhini needed their financial help .Radha agreed to move into their house to help out with the daily dawn to dusk routines which running a temple involved,in return for their financial help with tuition and other costs involved schooling in town.

The duo were inseparable.Often teased and taunted by the city bred ,rich classmates ,they stuck together and progressed.Survival skills were inborn and came easily to Nandhini and she was very protective of Meera who showed signs of slow mental capacity,speech deficiency and clung to her even more.Unwilling to leave her behind,Nandhini worked with her continually repeating,reading,explaining,helping her out with lessons,homework,paperwork,assignments.The girls finally made it through High School and Junior College.
Nandhini excelled and Meera just managed to get through.They were both so happy as they returned to the Village.

Meeras' parents arranged for her wedding that summer .The groom was an aspiring MBA student in a far off land whose parents were lured by her beauty and the dowry she would bring  with her...

Nandhini was happy to be with Radha again.They discussed what the future looked like and her options and decided to just enjoy the summer.
She was humming a tune as she weaved the flowers, engrossed in the turn out of colors and precision of the perfect  garland that would adorn the Lord Guruvaurappa.Her face lit up and she smiled as she imagined it all in her mind..Feeling a warmth on her face ,she lifted her eyes and looked straight into those of a youth who seemed mesmerized by her.Oh just another visitor curious about her hunchback.
Eyes downcast she continued weaving the colorful mala.

He walked over and knelt down.Inquiring the price of the finished garland he opened his wallet and held out two hundred Rupees.She declined indicating the garland was not for sale,but he insisted on narrating his reason.He had just completed his Degree in Medicine and had moved to the village to do his internship at the district hospital some distance away.
He needed a place to stay,home cooked meals and company during his stay at the village for a period of six months.

Well,since they stayed in the temple outhouse,their small but clean mud house was free, in no way a fancy place, but practical and readily available.
She would ask her mother Radha and tell him.
It was then that she realized that he was a  man on a mission,he insisted they find Radha and ask her at once.

It was time to hand over the garland to the temple priest so he could adorn the deity.She knew her mother would come by soon to join in the aarti or deeparadhana that was performed every evening at 7 pm.

Acutely aware that the young man had seen her disfigurement,she seemed to shrink within as the silence deepened, the sounds of the temple bells tolling the worship of the temple deity filled in.Radha joined her and looked at the youth as she intuitively sensed her daughters discomfort. Standing between the two she soon figured out the solution.He could stay in their house if he would coach her for the entrance exams to gain College admission.

Thus began the start of a blossoming friendship.He seemed to not even be aware of her deformed body,she bloomed in his presence.They spent every possible minute together,she cooked and kept the little cottage clean.Soon they chartered out the material for her preparation,he helped her get the books,notes,files,application forms ,date of submission.The progress was astonishing as she was so enthusiastic,days flew by.

The exam over,they met to discuss the possible outcome. She seemed shy and at a loss of words.He too was silent. They both began speaking at the same time. The ice broken,he gently asked her if she would allow him to examine her back .He had been reading up a lot and needed her permission to see if anything could be done.

Radha was consulted,and she,an eternal optimist cheered them on. The x-rays showed the disfigured bone structure.Consulting with his team in Mumbai and with inputs from surgeons the world over he decided to do the operation himself.She had every confidence in him,he would come through,..
If it did not work she would continue as she had so far...

They arrived at Mumbai where he had made arrangements to operate in the best facility available.

After four hours of surgery,he walked out weary and shaking..it was his first bone corrective surgery,everything had gone as planned and now they had to let Nature take over.

Radha waited at the hospital wait room with Meera who was in Mumbai after her wedding ,waiting to join her husband overseas.

Three days later Nandini and Radha left for their home back in the village.They would know when the local doctor opened the cast after twelve weeks.The surgeon was nowhere to be seen.

This is where we are back to the start of the story line.

  "Thoughts and memories kept her alive
She would bear the pain ,she had to believe in him.
  Come on brat..he held out his hand
You can do it-I know you can.."

She did not know why he had not come by to see her,but knew he had a very valid reason as she trusted him with her whole being. She clung to Radha,her mother, they both called upon their trust and faith in the Almighty.
The day  finally dawned and they were at the clinic,quietly waiting for the nurse to call her in.

The protocol of height/weight,blood test,BP checkup done,she was wheeled into the semi darkened room.The tall figure in white overalls seemed familiar.He turned and smiled and she felt her heart stabilizing..he had come after all.
The anesthesia took over.

Three hours later,she opened her eyes.Focusing on the stout figure of her mother,she sensed a movement at the bed side.He helped her to sit up.and smiled the biggest heart warming smile she wished for.Her back was straight and she looked so much taller.

Standing up she looked into the mirror and for the first time saw herself as others did.The sweet brow,heart shaped face.gentle eyes full of pain and sorrow,cascading hair,slim figure.

He nodded as tears welled up ,both overcome by emotion.

Beckoning to a  frail figure ,he walked out of the room and indicated she should too.

There on a wheel chair sat a frail,gentle lady,who was in pain but still smiled weakly.

The familiarity of her features was so overwhelming ,she had to be...Well today was her day of surprises..

Radha watched as she embraced her mother and her brother looked on.

The story unraveled soon. Nitya, the daughter of a laborer had been married off by her poor parents to a farm hand.She was barely ten when she had a baby boy, and was sixteen and abandoned, when the little girl was born.Her deformity meant she would have to be killed as was done in villages those days.Fighting back her sorrow, and willing the fates to smile upon her daughter,the young single mother had left her baby at the hospital steps...

Against all odds she had nurtured her son,sent him to medical school all the while keeping track of her little daughter who she knew was being well taken care off by the local hospital inmate.

Her brother embraced her and wiped away the tears.Years of hard work,back breaking toil had weakened their indomitable  mother who was now recovering from TB.

Radha too came in and smiled warmly at the courageous lady who had overcome insurmountable odds.
She embraced her, hugged her and whispered ,loving words a mother would.

They would take care and get her well again.

Now Radha(64) had her daughter Nitya(34), her grand children Venu(24) and Nandhini(18),so the family was complete.They would love and cherish their togetherness.

Life had more meaning.Fate and trust saved them all.

Not a cloud in the sky

Not a cloud in the sky.

Well that was the precise sentence she had from her,nothing more.

What does one conclude. She has adjusted to life and all is smooth sailing? Does this mean no cares or worries? Or too much sun or not enough rain or..stop-this is not helping.

Brooding,she looked over the vast acreage they owned.Her passionate involvement in the numerous plants and assorted pots of various sizes, the orchids, decorative plants were a thing of the past.
She was listless, depressed, moody almost suicidal. Her head  hurt and she developed a severe sense of pain.The sorrow seemed to emerge from the pit of her stomach. The sense of something wrong ,the feeling that she had not stepped up to stop the events deepened each time she looked at the display of photos on the mantle,walls,even her phone screen saver.

The laughter and constant humming,  radiant smile, vivid impersonations of her only daughter who had been sent off after a hasty marriage she was not ready for-and to a far off land( even as she had declared she wanted to work as a medical intern in the rural areas so she could bring relief to the suffering in her homeland)..closing her eyes to shut out the images ,she slipped into the past.
   
Happy,carefree,beautiful,dainty-everything she was not,her salvation from a loveless,arranged marriage was her only daughter. Quite her opposite,she mused as she saw herself almost 22 years ago-Dark swarthy complexion,beak nosed,bulging eyes,short,buck teeth..she had it all. 

Born to into a rich family after almost 15 years of marriage when they had given up hope,she was doted upon by her mother.Her looks soon had her cowering and ill at ease.The Convent school she attended was her salvation,she hid herself among books and would spend hours by herself in the make believe world.Graduating with top honors,she continued her studies till she earned her doctorate in literature.Along the way she her looks improved,the teeth were tamed,the eyes had contacts,her dark looks seemed in vogue,and the groom who came wooing seemed smitten by her.
Of course she was quick to sense that it was her affluence and not looks that was the draw but her complete lack of social graces had her agreeing to the match selected by her aged parents.

She had no idea how she looked,only what her parents told her about herself. Yes ,her intuition had been so right.
He only wanted money and a ticket to pursue higher education in the US of A.
Within 3 months of marriage ,he left for higher education,fully sponsored by her parents,of course with the understanding that she would soon join him.
Then came the excuses,can she come after a few months so he could settle down,he would send her the dependent visa.
She watched him manipulating them but was silent ,as she was with child.She did not even question why he did not connect with her directly,her parents shielded her at every turn.
  The beautiful little bundle who was born almost nine months to the day of their union was her pride and joy.
 Dainty,bright and inquisitive,she was like sunshine ,warming every one she connected with.
Never having met her father who stayed back in the land he had been sent to as a dowry for a marriage he was talked into by his parents,he had displayed no interest to know more about the his family.
The child grew up with her grand parents an her mother, they were a close knit unit.

Years flew by, the loving grand parents passed, mother and daughter  who looked more like siblings,were like two sides of the coin,one bright and cheery,the other dark and brooding. 
Their idyllic time seemed too good to last,she often looked over her shoulder to see if the clouds that seemed to threaten their existence  would drown their life.
 Medicine seemed the only choice,the girl with the magic touch who could charm every person choose the profession that needed most healing and excelled in her chosen field.

Then came the bombshell.The father who so far had been non existent decided he wanted his only daughter to wed the person he choose for her. Everything had been arranged and the date set,it was a word of honor and she was forced to agree.
Why oh why had she been silent for so long.She should have filed for desertion long back,then the situation would have been averted.She still did not fully comprehend what transpired,was it a dream,the sense of some imminent change still haunted her.
  The realization that she had not actually gone into the details each time gripped her.Quelling her panic,she decided to go over the events again in an objective way.

So what had transpired twenty two years ago,she remembered the joy and thrill of the wedding night,the honeymoon week they had spent at Ooty-Kodaikanal , the immense happiness she felt when they returned home,the plans they had made.Suddenly everything soured ,he moved out,and went abroad for further study,and they lost touch.Why had she not tried to connect and find the reason ,the nagging sense that somehow she had been manipulated grew.
 Snatches of conversation, innocent looks,  absence of mail,excessive intrusion of her parents , their overpowering influence in her life..something seemed wrong.
She had felt it but her intuitive trust and faith in her parents and her own lack of confidence in herself,made her believe everything they told her.She lacked looks,grace,beauty but they loved her anyway,they said.

The attic held all the correspondence,her father had an almirah he always kept locked.She determinedly traced the key,opened the vault and with growing trepidation decided to know the truth.
Hmm -- bills,passbooks,cancelled checks..wait a minute..why were they cancelled,she believed he had used them for his studies.The thick wad of unopened letters bearing her name shocked her.
   Why was she unaware of this correspondence.Four hours later she felt her heart still thudding at the shocking revelation.

It was all there,the countless letters he had written,her parents had kept them all hidden away so she would believe she had been abandoned.They wanted to keep her and the baby with them so their life would have meaning.They did not even think how their selfish motive had wrecked havoc in her life and her daughters life too.

So what else had she ignored?

 The time her daughter had been away during her stint at medical college had seemed so lonely and frightening. 
A conversation about the absent husband and father had come up but she had hushed it up as she did not want to lose her daughter.
 Well..so she had done just what her parents had and that had been wrong.
Oh no! what a mess,she decided to get in touch with her husband who she had not spoken to since the three months after her own wedding.

'Hello..is this # --- --- ----?' A silence that seemed like music to her ears,she remembered his slow drawing of breath.

' I have been waiting to hear from you ' was all he said.

Tears welling she hesitatingly narrated the story .He did not interrupt.
The door bell pealed and she heard the sound of the postman.He said softly-'Go,get the post,that is
your ticket sent by our daughter .She figured out what had happened and we decided to take the chance that you would be willing to come here,away from the bonds that kept us apart all these years.'

Their son in law was his sisters son.She had always been in touch, keeping the youngsters connected.The two had decided willingly to get married but feared a repeat of the happenings two decades and two years ago.She was overcome with joy when she heard her daughters voice.
Amma..all is fine here now.

 THERE IS NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY..
Please do come and join us ,we are waiting for you.The flight leaves at midnight tonight.
Heart thudding she looked around with a sense of dawning realization that reality and not dreams were playing out.
Her tears now overflowed.
The wait was finally over.

AFFAIRS OF THE HEART

She looked into the sea of faces trying to spot her father who had promised to be there for her graduation.Her room mate also batch mate nudged her on,he will be watching,her eyes seemed to say.

No--he just cannot help himself,she felt her heart sinking as it did each time he promised but failed to act on it.

Maybe she looked too much like her mother who had left him almost 18 years ago to carve a life for herself.

             Soon she was wearing the ceremonial hat and cloak ,was proclaimed a graduate and walked down the podium.Her group cheered as she was a popular figure,always helpful and kind. Only she knew it was an act,she needed them as much as they needed her,to fill in the long lonely nights,holidays,weekends..The only communication she received was a financial statement ,with a predictable balance as she hardly spent the money he sent her..I need your love and involvement not the money she cried to herself.

   They were to meet at the bottom at far end of the stage to the right.She walked there morosely almost in tears.The hand on her shoulders and the enveloping hug startled her.Looking around,her face tear streaked she dared to guess who the dignified,gently smiling,sari clad figure could be.Yes,herself in another 25 years,the similarity startled her.They hugged and soon were talking each trying to fill in the words describing close to two decades of separation,when they never communicated.Why her eyes questioned,only to know her heart telling her that she had stayed away so her father would raise her without conflict..But why was what she decided she wanted the answer to.
The smiling face of her mother soothed her .She looked to be at peace with herself.Eat,she chided gently,we have the entire life ahead to discuss whats troubling you,she said quietly.Watching her order vegetarian items from the menu,she looked her over, streaked greying hair,in a neat bob style that suited her small animated face,black beautifully lashed eyes that twinkled and danced as she placed her order in a musical tone.The waitress was explaining the menu in detail and seemed glad to know someone who was familiar with Indian dishes.Soon they enjoyed crisp paper dosas,pulav,filter coffee and sweet rosagollas.The falooda was so delicious and she felt quite light headed and sleepy.We will talk tomorrow,we are both exhausted today ,the big event is successfully over she said..Oh NO..what about her father,he had not even called.Let us go to the hotel,she guided her to a stately sedan which she drove effortlessly to the apartment.Sleep overcame her excitement and she dozed fitfully.
          Snippets of conversation played in her mind.It was that time when one is semi conscious but loath to wake up.Her grand mother a very dominating figure in her preteen life seemed to be furious at her father.Repeated questions to her father did not yield any answers.Then she was sent to school away from the family.The catch has to be there she reasoned.Mild,even tempered ,gracious mother and a quiet,introvert father who spent all his time with his students and research work.what had kept them apart.Her throbbing head demanded a cup of strong coffee.
Just the way you like it ,her mother handed her the cup filled with steaming filter coffee.How did she even know what I like.she wondered.The upma and chutni was delicious.,Mysorepak hmmm she again looked at her mother who was picking the diamond shaped pieces,perfectly browned,streaked,the colors and aroma tickling her tastebuds.
  Run and shower,we have a visitor coming soon was the gentle prompt.No ordering,bossing,raised tone,well she was an adult and a graduate who would be signing into her first job in a weeks time.

His aftershave alerted her,as she walked in to find her mother handing a perfect cup of coffee to her father who smiled at her.Well done dear,we are proud of you,he handed her a small jewellery set.
They spoke in unison,almost choreographed,she felt an odd sense of deja vu?
What was happening seemed like a replay of life in its normal course..then why did she feel a sense of loss?
Almost there but not completely,the newspaper was open,he was checking out the front page she the mid section almost as if they has been doing it all along,Confused,she sat down sipping the orange juice her fathers choice she decided.
          Her mother began softly.She had joined as an intern when at the research facility to pursue post graduate studies.Staying up late to tabulate a tissue culture she was recording,she had been held against her will and molested by an exchange student from Asia,Terrified,hurting,he found her weeping as she could not even go back to her hometown.Knowing her plight ,he had dismissed the student.She was with child and her values could not allow her to terminate  a life.He ,who had suffered from a virus attack during childhood knew he could never father a child.The marriage led to raised eyebrows and a lot of speculation,She had moved to another University to complete her thesis.His mother had refused to accept her as a daughter in law,and was against the child.He however did give her his name but the constant friction caused by the old lady was affecting the little one.She moved out and peace reigned.They decided that she should not suffer the constant change of houses,weekend shifting,to and fro schedules.He would hire nannies to care for her welfare and her mother moved away to continue her scientific studies.
     They each progressed in their chosen field ,she was a professor doing molecular research.
He was director of the Institute of Scientific studies.Twenty years of dedicated research,they were both well received and prominent scientists in their chosen field.Of course they had been in touch
   It all made sense.The old lady had just passed.her parents were never divorced,so they were moving in together again.
This was her graduation present.
Her cup of joy brimmed over.       
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