Not a cloud in the sky.
Well that was the precise sentence she had from her, nothing more.
What does one conclude. She has adjusted to life and all is smooth sailing? Does this mean no cares or worries? Or too much sun or not enough rain or..stop-this is not helping.
Brooding, she looked over the vast acreage they owned. Her passionate involvement in the numerous plants and assorted pots of various sizes, the orchids and decorative plants were a thing of the past.
She was listless, depressed, moody and almost suicidal. Her head hurt and she developed a severe sense of pain. The sorrow seemed to emerge from the pit of her stomach. The sense of something wrong, the feeling that she had not stepped up to stop the events deepened each time she looked at the display of photos on the mantle, walls, now even her phone screen saver.
The laughter and constant humming, radiant smile, vivid
impersonations of her only daughter haunted her. After a hasty
marriage she was not ready for, she had been whisked to a far off land (though she had
declared she wanted to work as a medical intern in the rural areas to bring relief to the suffering in her homeland). Closing her eyes
to shut out the images, she slipped into the past.
Happy, carefree and dainty described her beautiful daughter. So diametrically different, she was nothing like her own self but her salvation from a loveless, arranged marriage.
Quite her opposite, she mused as she saw herself almost 22 years ago.
Dark swarthy complexion, beak nosed, bulging eyes, buck teeth was her opinion of herself.
Born to into a rich family after
almost 15 years of marriage when they had given up hope, she was doted
upon by her parents.
Her looks soon had her cowering and ill at ease.
The Convent school she attended was her salvation, she hid herself among books and would spend hours by herself in the make believe world. Graduating with top honors, she continued her studies till she earned her doctorate in literature. Along the way she her looks improved, the teeth were tamed, the eyes had contacts, her dark looks seemed in vogue, and the groom who came wooing seemed smitten by her. Her total lack of self-worth had her still shying away from Life.
So, she was quick to conclude that it was her affluence and not looks that was the draw. Her complete lack of social graces had her agreeing to the match selected by her aged parents.
She had no idea how she looked, only what her parents told her about herself.
Yes, her intuition had been so right.
So what had transpired twenty two years ago? She remembered the joy and thrill of the wedding night, the honeymoon week they had spent at Ooty-Kodaikanal, the immense happiness she felt when they returned home, the plans they had made.
Suddenly everything soured, he moved out, went abroad for further study, they lost touch.Why had she not tried to connect and find the reason, the nagging sense that somehow she had been manipulated grew.
Snatches of conversation, innocent looks, absence of mail, excessive intrusion of her parents, their overpowering influence in her life..something seemed wrong.
She had felt it but her intuitive trust and faith in her parents and her own lack of confidence in herself had her believe everything they told her.
She lacked looks, grace, beauty but they loved her anyway, was their only chant.
The attic held all the correspondence, her father had closet he always kept locked.
She determinedly traced the key, opened the vault and with growing trepidation decided she must now know the truth.
Hmm -- bills, passbooks,
Why was she unaware of this correspondence!!
Four hours later she felt her heart still thudding at the shocking revelation.
It was all there, the countless letters he had written.
Her parents had kept them all hidden away so she would believe she had been abandoned.
They wanted to keep her and the baby with them so their life would have meaning.They did not even think how their selfish motive had wrecked havoc in her life and her daughters life too.
So what else had she ignored?
The time her daughter had been away during her stint at medical college had seemed so lonely and frightening. A conversation about the absent husband and father had come up but she had hushed it up as she did not want to lose her daughter.
Well..so she had done just what her parents had and that had been wrong.
Oh no! what a mess, she decided to get in touch with her husband who she had not spoken to since the three months after her own wedding.
'Hello..is this # --- --- ----?' A silence that seemed like music to her ears, she remembered his slow drawing of breath.
' I have been waiting to hear from you ' was all he said.
Tears welling she hesitatingly narrated the story, He did not interrupt.
The door bell pealed and she
heard the sound of the postman. He said softly-'Go, get the post,that is
your ticket sent by our daughter. She figured out what had happened and we decided to take the chance that you would be willing to come here, away from the bonds that kept us apart all these years.'
Their son in law was his sisters son. She had always been in touch, keeping the youngsters connected. The two had decided willingly to get married but feared a repeat of the happenings two decades and two years ago. She was overcome with joy when she heard her daughters voice.
'Amma..all is fine here now.'Not a cloud in the sky--
Please do come and join us, we are waiting for you. The flight leaves at midnight tonight.
Heart thudding she looked around with a sense of dawning realization that reality and not dreams were playing out.
Her tears now overflowed.
The wait was finally over.
Well that was the precise sentence she had from her, nothing more.
What does one conclude. She has adjusted to life and all is smooth sailing? Does this mean no cares or worries? Or too much sun or not enough rain or..stop-this is not helping.
Brooding, she looked over the vast acreage they owned. Her passionate involvement in the numerous plants and assorted pots of various sizes, the orchids and decorative plants were a thing of the past.
She was listless, depressed, moody and almost suicidal. Her head hurt and she developed a severe sense of pain. The sorrow seemed to emerge from the pit of her stomach. The sense of something wrong, the feeling that she had not stepped up to stop the events deepened each time she looked at the display of photos on the mantle, walls, now even her phone screen saver.
Happy, carefree and dainty described her beautiful daughter. So diametrically different, she was nothing like her own self but her salvation from a loveless, arranged marriage.
Quite her opposite, she mused as she saw herself almost 22 years ago.
Dark swarthy complexion, beak nosed, bulging eyes, buck teeth was her opinion of herself.
Her looks soon had her cowering and ill at ease.
The Convent school she attended was her salvation, she hid herself among books and would spend hours by herself in the make believe world. Graduating with top honors, she continued her studies till she earned her doctorate in literature. Along the way she her looks improved, the teeth were tamed, the eyes had contacts, her dark looks seemed in vogue, and the groom who came wooing seemed smitten by her. Her total lack of self-worth had her still shying away from Life.
So, she was quick to conclude that it was her affluence and not looks that was the draw. Her complete lack of social graces had her agreeing to the match selected by her aged parents.
She had no idea how she looked, only what her parents told her about herself.
Yes, her intuition had been so right.
He only wanted
money and a ticket to pursue higher education in the US of A.
Within 3 months of marriage, he left for higher education, fully sponsored by her parents, of course with the understanding that she would soon join him.
Then came the excuses, can she come after a few months so he could settle down, he would send her the dependent visa.
She watched him manipulating them but was silent, as she was with child. She did not even question why he did not connect with her directly, her parents shielded her at every turn.
The beautiful little bundle who was born almost nine months to the day of their union was her pride and joy. Dainty, bright and inquisitive, she was sunshine, warming every one she connected with.
Never having met her father who stayed back in the land he had been sent to as a dowry for a marriage he was talked into by his parents, he had displayed no interest to know more about his family.
The child grew up with her grand parents an her mother, they were a close knit unit.
Years flew by, the loving grand parents passed, mother and daughter who looked more like siblings, were like two sides of the coin, one bright and cheery ,the other dark and brooding.
Their idyllic time seemed too good to last, she often looked over her shoulder to see if the clouds that seemed to threaten their existence would drown their life.
Medicine seemed the only choice, the girl with the magic touch who could charm every person she connected with, selected the profession that needed most healing and excelled in her chosen field.
Then came the bombshell.
The father who so far had been non existent decided he wanted his only daughter to wed the person he choose for her. Everything had been arranged and the date set, it was a word of honor and she was forced to agree.
Why oh why had she been silent for so long.
She should have filed for desertion long back, then the situation would have been averted. She still did not fully comprehend what transpired, was it a dream, the sense of some imminent change still haunted her.
The realization that she had not actually gone into the details each time gripped her. Quelling her panic, she decided to go over the events again in an objective way.
Within 3 months of marriage, he left for higher education, fully sponsored by her parents, of course with the understanding that she would soon join him.
Then came the excuses, can she come after a few months so he could settle down, he would send her the dependent visa.
She watched him manipulating them but was silent, as she was with child. She did not even question why he did not connect with her directly, her parents shielded her at every turn.
The beautiful little bundle who was born almost nine months to the day of their union was her pride and joy. Dainty, bright and inquisitive, she was sunshine, warming every one she connected with.
Never having met her father who stayed back in the land he had been sent to as a dowry for a marriage he was talked into by his parents, he had displayed no interest to know more about his family.
The child grew up with her grand parents an her mother, they were a close knit unit.
Years flew by, the loving grand parents passed, mother and daughter who looked more like siblings, were like two sides of the coin, one bright and cheery ,the other dark and brooding.
Their idyllic time seemed too good to last, she often looked over her shoulder to see if the clouds that seemed to threaten their existence would drown their life.
Medicine seemed the only choice, the girl with the magic touch who could charm every person she connected with, selected the profession that needed most healing and excelled in her chosen field.
Then came the bombshell.
The father who so far had been non existent decided he wanted his only daughter to wed the person he choose for her. Everything had been arranged and the date set, it was a word of honor and she was forced to agree.
Why oh why had she been silent for so long.
She should have filed for desertion long back, then the situation would have been averted. She still did not fully comprehend what transpired, was it a dream, the sense of some imminent change still haunted her.
The realization that she had not actually gone into the details each time gripped her. Quelling her panic, she decided to go over the events again in an objective way.
So what had transpired twenty two years ago? She remembered the joy and thrill of the wedding night, the honeymoon week they had spent at Ooty-Kodaikanal, the immense happiness she felt when they returned home, the plans they had made.
Suddenly everything soured, he moved out, went abroad for further study, they lost touch.Why had she not tried to connect and find the reason, the nagging sense that somehow she had been manipulated grew.
Snatches of conversation, innocent looks, absence of mail, excessive intrusion of her parents, their overpowering influence in her life..something seemed wrong.
She had felt it but her intuitive trust and faith in her parents and her own lack of confidence in herself had her believe everything they told her.
She lacked looks, grace, beauty but they loved her anyway, was their only chant.
The attic held all the correspondence, her father had closet he always kept locked.
She determinedly traced the key, opened the vault and with growing trepidation decided she must now know the truth.
Hmm -- bills, passbooks,
Why was she unaware of this correspondence!!
Four hours later she felt her heart still thudding at the shocking revelation.
It was all there, the countless letters he had written.
Her parents had kept them all hidden away so she would believe she had been abandoned.
They wanted to keep her and the baby with them so their life would have meaning.They did not even think how their selfish motive had wrecked havoc in her life and her daughters life too.
So what else had she ignored?
The time her daughter had been away during her stint at medical college had seemed so lonely and frightening. A conversation about the absent husband and father had come up but she had hushed it up as she did not want to lose her daughter.
Well..so she had done just what her parents had and that had been wrong.
Oh no! what a mess, she decided to get in touch with her husband who she had not spoken to since the three months after her own wedding.
'Hello..is this # --- --- ----?' A silence that seemed like music to her ears, she remembered his slow drawing of breath.
' I have been waiting to hear from you ' was all he said.
Tears welling she hesitatingly narrated the story, He did not interrupt.
your ticket sent by our daughter. She figured out what had happened and we decided to take the chance that you would be willing to come here, away from the bonds that kept us apart all these years.'
Their son in law was his sisters son. She had always been in touch, keeping the youngsters connected. The two had decided willingly to get married but feared a repeat of the happenings two decades and two years ago. She was overcome with joy when she heard her daughters voice.
'Amma..all is fine here now.'Not a cloud in the sky--
Please do come and join us, we are waiting for you. The flight leaves at midnight tonight.
Heart thudding she looked around with a sense of dawning realization that reality and not dreams were playing out.
Her tears now overflowed.
The wait was finally over.
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