slice and dice, come out.

They sat apart, across the narrow bench at the rest area.
Two wandering souls, each seeking meaning, swaying in the winds of uncertainty.
Words made sense? Not anymore, each wondered why they even existed in a meaningless world.

All was not lost however.
The conversation went so-

"Inane eh?"

"Uhm, better than an erudite slice and dice."

"Thought only crudites were sliced and diced."

"Thoughts too."

Would you believe the two drifters, each so entrenched in a lifestyle so quenching, it was like being bogged into quicksand---

A tinkle of pure glee sounded, a child's laughter, from across the dappled scene.

The dazzle of colors on a winged dragonfly caught their fancy.
Moving along the water body, thoughts sliced across as the insect flew over the darkened waters, glimmering irridescently.

They were each trying to make sense of Life. One, a lawyer, pulling in money settling fraud cases. The other, a computer geek, building firewalls to protect trade secrets.

But life held no meaning, till they broke out to walk about across the huge pond, watching Nature come alive.

"Do you want company, I am single, clean, no family around, open to male bonding" - tentative feelings quiver across the fog building up this late October weekend.


A quick intake of breath, the 6 foot, slender, long limbed beauty, stretched even as the tank top revealed swatches of glistening color.

Well proportioned and sinewy, the longing to be held and comforted, overcame hesitation.
They came together and cuddled into the warmth society frowned upon.
Moved to another state where they could live together.
Yes, each worked in a field that did not pin them down to a locale.

Compact, clasping, coming close California.

Love is beautiful, fluid, mystical as feelings breathe out.

The peal of laughter sealed the union of lonely souls.
Yes, they could have surrogate babies, one each.
The lawyer longed for a baby girl to rekindle his joy of dressing up and keeping house.
The computer nerd hoped for a boy, who played the graphic games he brought to Life.

Two years later, their twins arrived, they paid off the debts of the medical student for full custody of the children.
The girl closely follows the games while the boy is elegant and fashion conscious.
Life well lived.

stand apart for you are meant to be

“.....And lets stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” Khalil Gibran.

When that moment comes the indifference is revealed, it is one of the most devastating experiences one can endure.

“Unfaithful” by Shriver & Shriver (2009) is a book that tells a story of a Jewish woman who survived the Holocaust, came to America and got married. Years later, her husband bailed and left her. She described this as, “the most painful experience of my life.”

Surviving in a strange land is not for the weak of heart. Thriving in the face of  abandonment requires courage.

I’ve, like many, been  swept on but when indifference was revealed, I felt as though I’d swallowed ice water. The blood pounded in my ears. I was crushed and had no idea how I would survive this blow, let alone thrive through it.

The pain and betrayal left me whirling. It took me some time to get my feet beneath me again. Slowly, I began to rebuild my life. Like the sun peeking through on a dark day, I began to feel my spirit rise.

Some of the lessons I learned in that process may help those of you who are in the painful throes of an identity crisis.

I learned how to stand on my own again. Scared and alone, with the responsibility of two young lives fully dependent on me, I learned how not only to do my best but whatever was necessary.

I learned that my self-image is not contingent upon another but rather comes from within. I was able to separate his infidelity from my image. I realized that it reflected something about him, not about me.

I learned how to take responsibility for my part in the marriage failing. I learned the ways in which I contributed to the demise and was able to shift my behavior to avoid making the same choices again.

I learned how to deeply believe in myself. When the truth was revealed, I recognized that I had already known but hadn’t followed my hunch. Now, I know that when I know something, even without proof, to trust it.

I learned that despite being betrayed in the most painful of ways, I could trust again. I realized that trust is a choice we make and that I could choose to hold every person accountable for their choices or I could let the responsibility lie where it ought to—on the shoulders of those who chose to take this path.

I learned how to cultivate happiness and bliss on my own. I learned how mastering my thoughts helped me to master my feelings, which then helped me to choose my actions.

In short, I became the woman I was always meant to be when I was stripped bare of all of the illusions, stories, and counterfeit dreams I’d unwittingly bought into. When it all fell apart, I was left with nothing but my grit and unwavering devotion to creating a life of contentment.

When people ask me if I harbor negative feelings due to this experience, I can easily answer “no.”

In fact, I am grateful for it because the abandonment offered me a way out of an untenable situation, and without it, I may never have left.

Indeed, I am grateful because I became free.

When I realize that the bliss I’ve experienced may not have happened without that choice, I feel waves of gratitude wash over me.

We all have one Life to live and just a short time to accomplish all we want.

So be brave, take the plunge and just go ahead.

Obsessing over Life's minutiae

Gazing into the colorful scattered lights of dawn on a cold wintry morning early into the New Year, she sighed in relief.
The continuous snowfall had precipitated declaration of Snow-day, giving the time to finish submission of her paper on child management, she now obsessed on the approach.
Just how to hold a child's attention on a topic to instill the values of Life as society demanded?
Curbing natural enthusiasm would negate creativity, she reasoned.
Maybe visuals and participation would do the trick..hmm.

Would her efforts in amateur photography/ captioning pique the interest of a hyper active child?
Now she had the weekend to test and collate observations, she only had to get the family of the child who lived down her housing complex to co-operate. Having babysat the child on various weekdays she decided to just offer the harassed mother some relief, suggesting time off for shopping this weekend - she could use the money to buy colored printer ink to offset the graphics. Janet, the little girl, bright yet attentive, always lived in a world of her own making but was well behaved and articulate. Her reaction would be valuable, she had a complete different take on colors, smell, taste and words to express her view on the situation at hand.

The weekend produced the pictures in this write up, the words below are stereotypical while the words within are the child's reaction.
The photos are mine, the caption too- the add in words are the child's input.
The missing brick represented a forest, the rock rug through her eyes - Nature's carpet.
Now you decide if my paper was a success to get me the free ship for the next semester.
Here is another one to tilt your decision--

Natures carpet

I am now doing my final doctoral thesis and Janet spends all evening after school with me.
Her final one from us to you around the world- you can caption it and participate in this experiment too- thank you!

The Day I decided to NEVER, EVER give up.

No Matter What's Happening In Your Life Right Now, You Must Read This Short Story

ONE DAY I DECIDED TO QUIT

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality… I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with god

“God”, I asked,

“Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”.

His answer surprised me…

“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo ?

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light .I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth.

Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit.

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit.” He said.

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”

He asked me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots”.

“I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.”

“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said.”The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.

Yet they both make the forest beautiful.”"Your time will come”, God said to me.

“You will rise high”.

“How high should I rise?” I asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned.”Yes.” He said, “Give Me glory by rising as high as you can.”

I left the forest and brought back this story.I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on

you. Never, Never, Never, Give up.

Don’t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

The Lord here is the Supernatural , the creator of the Universe.

I returned, humbled.
Decided to work on my approach, rethink my options.
The problem resolved over time, I finally understood that Life has ups and downs.
Life is for LIVING.

Our Atlanta trip.

Of course, we just had to agree when our son sent us the tickets to spend a week with his family,
It included a 3 day long weekend and we could work around the time away, also spend the festival of Ganesh Chaturthi and sons birthday with the family.
Being a direct flight, it took just 4 hours from the time we left home to the time we reached home in Atlanta. The heat was tempered with a lot of breeze so it was refreshing.
After the family got together by early evening, ate the sweets and spicy delicacies I had made, we went for a walk in the woods behind the complex.

Sun dappled Nature walk ..The woods are lovely, dark and deep

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
And I have pounds I have to lose..
So we set off walking, following the path around the Lake.
Full of twists, turns, sharp rocks jutting, tree roots the size of limbs strewn about, The pine cones were abundant and I stopped to wonder at their beauty and symmetry.

The breeze was cooling as the heat bounced off our steaming bodies. The land here is a series of steep climbs, so the up and down terrain and 90+ temperature had me huffing and taking deep breaths.
I lamented the lack of perfumed flowers and smell of rich water drenched Earth. The lake water was still and shallow.



The area was marked every quarter mile to show runners the progress. and the pokeman symbol just added to the discussion of distracted driving.

Chattahoochee River in all its glory, reflecting the sky in its deep waters.


The sounds of rumbling trucks sounded magnified  as it clamored above on I-75.

A dog swam in the water and soon some kids drifted into view on inflated yellow rafts, lazing in the sunlight.
The peaceful sight was a balm to my swirling mind.



Maybe, just maybe my wishes and hopes will come through after all.
One can only dream on..

Relax | Rewind | Recharge | : Random acts of care

Relax | Rewind | Recharge | : Random acts of care

Random acts of care

"A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees"

~ Amelia Earhart

She inhaled the camphor from the small scentsy vial that he had given her the day he came to stay.

It calmed her when she got upset or worried, which was most of the Time.
She worried so much about just how he would strike out on his own. Life was tough enough , he was an exchange student from a developing country who would eat only vegan food.
He understood her anxiety.
She was lonely, a widow who rented out a room that was her late husbands office room that she had converted into a boarding so she could have some company to keep away the loneliness that overwhelmed her.

THE POEM THAT HEALED
There lies a valley deep within
The tangled jungles of the universe
The center of the four corners of the Star system
Where faeries live and songs do tell

Of a crystal sun and painted clouds
Mermaid fins and dolphin waves
Wales singing in the deepest of blue
Songs of old and songs of new

This valley and this sacred beach
Do speak to many
To many she shall teach
The ways of old the respect of Gaia

Reminding us children of her magnificent self
Giving always nurturing with her touch
Her smell and her sound
Her heartbeat forever radiating from the soft ground

I love you Mother 
I hear you in your Valley
In the wind and in the trees
In the glowing rainbow breeze.

In the sunsets and dewy dawn
In the bird song and windswept lawn
In the silence of the long summer nights
In the twitter of early morn

I am here for you- O Mother of mine
Bloodlines are not needed
To entwine, love and understanding 
Wins every time.

She found this poem addressed to her and felt the peace she was craving for all along.
Her husband smiled as she now had a living soul to mother and nurture again.

Relax | Rewind | Recharge | : The homecoming

Relax | Rewind | Recharge | : The homecoming

The sound of silence

Responsibility often arrives shrouded in uncertainty.

He was the oldest in the family of 9 members.
Just 18, having lit his fathers funeral pyre, he walked back home with a heavy heart.
Unable to cry or even feel anymore, he sat along the grassy shores of the flowing stream, gazing into the gentle waters.
Throwing a pebble into it, he watched as the ripples caused by the impact send ever expanding circle of waves patterned across the blue sky and green coconut trees reflected in the clear waters.

Reflecting, his mind flashed back.
   
The family bathed and played here, his parents always led the children to the water everyday to wash and clean themselves. Mother with a lot of sweet smelling jasmine flowers in her black, wavy, oiled, long lustrous hair, her serene face with a hint of smile, a song hovering on her lips.
She chanted vedic mantras or hummed to the classical music that played at the temple festivals. He wondered how she managed the family of 7 children. As an army man, father was home just for three weeks in a year but she always had them all clean, fed, clothed and happy.

The telegram shattered their happy household, his mother's pleading looks prompted the postman to read it as she feared the news even as she saw him alighting from his black bicycle. His troubled face and sad eyes gave away the news as she crumbled. The children screamed as the ladies surrounded her.
He heard the wailing, shrill cries and the hush as they whispered and looked at him.
Wiping away tears, he could hear his father telling him he was now the Man of the house.
The youngest twin boys were barely six months old.

Going from boyhood to adulthood in that moment he recalled his father whisper the Gayatri Mantra  (holy chant) in his ears during his thread ceremony two years ago.
 "You are the oldest male member of the house when I am away, you have to protect everyone''.
Heart throbbing, he decided a career in Medicine as planned was out of question, he had to join the Army to keep the family together. Mother could  not accept the job entitled to the family on sympathetic grounds, the younger children needed her presence in everyday life.
His sister, a year younger, slipped quietly by his side and held his trembling hand that had lit the pyre. "Our father was proud and honest, true and just, we have to cherish his memory and hold our heads high as he died a hero, defending our Nation" she whispered.
They made a pact, she would take charge of their mother and all the little ones, he would accept the  position of entitlement from the Army so he would get paid, they could all go to school and keep the house allotted. The family pension and her income as teacher, with his salary and entitlement of housing would keep them together.
Gently they guided the younger ones home.

Time flew.
He was a commissioned Army Doctor, she a Professor in Mathematics.
The younger children flourished under the stern discipline of their indomitable mother who shouldered the new role of both parents smoothly. The family was close knit, the tiny twins kept them smiling and focused. Everyone did their bit - milking cows, delivering newspapers, threading flowers to be sold at the temple arena, stitching clothes and household garments, taking care of children when parents needed time off...all honest yet paying work. The community helped, always calling on the family for any work that was needed and did not grudge paying as each member did sincere work.

 Twenty five years later, the Major retired from the Army to start practice in his hometown. Together with his friend and fellow serviceman, a veterinarian, the town now had an exclusive care center for patients and animals.
Their loving mother surprised her two oldest by bringing together her son and a recently widowed young lady and also talking her daughter into agreeing to wed the bachelor veterinarian who had waited all along for this day.
The younger siblings were all settled by then, the next generation of children were nurtured by the Major and the Professor.
The still smiling, loving Grandma was always there for them all, every evening the family gathered to pay their obeisance to the Grand Hero (grandfather) who even in death had provided the means for his family to live on..

Respect, responsibility and family bonds weathered many sacrifices to create progress and harmony.